The Joe and Smith Podcast: Read the Book of Mormon with us

Jacob 3 and 4

Smith tells about how he got out of jury duty one time from not having very much faith and humanity. Smith reads an alternate ending of the BOM from a robot that could signify the end of humanity. 
 
Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal
The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org 
Become a Celestial Subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith 
Remember who you are and what you stand for

Jacob 2

The guys confess that this recording is a “take 2” due to previous poor decision-making. Joe refers to this episode of his beloved Radio Free Mormon podcast and this episode of The Dollop Podcast. 
 
Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal
The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org 
Become a Celestial Subscriber on our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith 
Remember who you are and what you stand for

Jacob 01

What would you do with the lost 116 pages? Joe and Smith have a very limited imagination that has to do with money and/or sex and/or alcohol. Smith asks Joe to remind him about the happiness letter, but it didn’t work. Joe tells a mission story about the worst moment of his life. Joe remembers to tell the limousine joke from last episode. 
 
Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal
The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org 
Join our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith 
Remember who you are and what you stand for

2 Nephi 32 and 33

The guys forgot about their idea to try to be more positive with their attitude toward the BOM. Joe says that he feels ashamed of how he used to use these two chapters with investigators when he was on his mission. The guys recommend finding the Whiskers and Wires release on band camp (and no other service, just band camp). 
 
Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal with permission from the artist.
The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org 
Join our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith 
Remember who you are and what you stand for

2 Nephi 31 (back to explicit)

Joe and Smith are back without a guest and maybe they’re a little too critical (or not critical enough?) of how it went on the last episode. Joe goes on (what can only be described as) a rant about skepticism vs cynicism, or maybe sincerity vs cynicism. The guys play a round of Hymnal Literal Translation to learn some crazy ish. 
 
Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal with permission from the artist.
The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org 
Join our patreon at- https://patreon.com/joeandsmith 
Remember who you are and what you stand for

2 Nephi 30 (with guest Friendjamin!)

It’s happened. This week the guys are joined by a guest, Friendjamin, who is still a card-carrying saint of the latter-days. Joe recants his negative review of the Jon Heder ep of the Petey Pants Podcast. The conversation devolves into mission masturbation and the like. Smith took an awesome picture of hot lava that can be seen here. The guys are excited about their Turtle Friend’s LDS doctrine-based Christmas t-shirt that he designed. The guys play a round of “I’ve got some bad tunes for you” which was borrowed without permission from the Threedom podcast. 
 
Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal with permission from the artist.
The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org 
Remember who you are and what you stand for

2 Nephi 29

The guys are back and they did not land their exclusive guest this week (sad face). Smith sent Joe a picture of the cutest baby tortoises you’ve ever seen. They want you to check out their patreon page- https://patreon.com/JoeAndSmith. A bible? A bible? The more the merrier. Smith refers back to this classic Brother Jake youtube video about the different branches of the church. Smith proposes an interesting test to tell if one is a real Christian. Joe wonders about the future of the temple video. Smith predicts VR temple sessions in the future. The guys discuss some garment do’s and dont’s. Joe refers back to another classic youtube video about ‘Mormon Jesus’. Joe is about halfway through the Jon Heder ep of the Petey Pants Podcast. The guys reminisce about Pete Holmes’ ‘lesbian Val Kilmer-look alike’ bit. 
Joe refers to a  Mark Rober youtube video, and he points out that Mark reminds him of a million different guys from elder’s quorum who didn’t like him (Joe). Joe spoils an entire Black Mirror episode. The guys talk Schitt’s Creek and Keep Sweet etc. 
 
Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal with permission from the artist.
The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org 
Remember who you are and what you stand for

2 Nephi 28, is it PG-13?

The guys are back with a new special challenge this week. They’ll get to it a few minutes in. Joe notices what he doesn’t like about dad jokes. Smith gives new meaning to the term ‘superspreader’ and makes Joe giggle. Smith refers back to the Aliki series of sketches from Portlandia. The guys try to self-edit to try to land a tbm guest next week. All sorts of aspersions are cast. Joe gives an attempt at an apologist answer for the BOM to teach principles in terms of conflict and good and bad. Eat, drink, and be merry.The guys try to reconcile the perfectionism that they absorbed growing up with other, more positive messages within the BOM. The irony is not lost on the guys that they are trying to ‘play nice’ and this chapter is pretty much a direct criticism of one of the main theses of the podcast. Does the BOM criticize the church?  Some other stuff happens. 
Russel M Nelson Divine Love  “divine love…cannot correctly be characterized as unconditional” 
 
Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal with permission from the artist.
The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org 
Remember who you are and what you stand for

2 Nephi 27

Smith does his best Mark “Jacko” Jackson impression. Joe accuses Smith of sending him down a “Helf hole” after referring to him an article from Psychology Today published in 2017. The article is in reference to a separate scholarly article published in The Journal of Sex Research about so called, ‘sex addiction’ as it pertains to religious people. A bad Ballam shows up, but is quickly cast out. Joe claims he can do an impression of himself, but he doesn’t deliver. Joe makes an executive decision to read 2 Nephi 27 despite the Isaiah tw in the chapter heading. Don’t worry, the guys think better of this decision later. Joe expresses some frustration over his experience with a very specific way in which the church conditioned married women to have control over their husband’s sexuality. The guys toy with the idea that re-reading the BOM for the podcast will bring them back into the church. They want to use this idea to make money. You can buy anything in this world…you know how it goes. Nobody else likes Pavement, but the guys can’t help but tell one more thing about the show. The guys finally decide to pull the plug on reading chapter 27. 
Joe offers a hearty pat on the back to Smith for legitimately forgetting that it was GC weekend last weekend. Smith reads some excerpts from old GC talks about the evils of pornography. Bane shows up to read anti-porn quotes from GC. Penn and Teller come up again. Joe insists that church members should be talking about consent rather than talking about abstaining from porn. Joe describes going down a Helf hole where he listened to at least 10 hours of podcasts from the wonderful Natasha Helfer. Smith reads another frustrating GC quote. Along Joe’s journey this week, he learned about an LDS apologist called Kwaku and someone else who has an anti-Jahndallyn blog. Kwaku has an unlisted yt video about the evils of Jahndallyn. Smith’s assessment of some of the exmo drama is that it’s a classic who done it. The guys try to see how many times they can say Kwaku. Heaps. Smith reads one more anti-porn quote that is really Jesus talking to the Pharisees in SLC. Vmemo 09/2011 Kid R
 
Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal with permission from the artist.
The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org 
Remember who you are and what you stand for
 

2 Nephi 26

Smith asks for an idea about what to call listeners, Joe suggests not to include ‘anti’. Joe talks about his dear friend (not deer friend, aka D’ump) who is a loving tbm. The guys recap their time together in Denver for the Pavement show in Sep 2022. Smith noted Joe’s breathing. Joe gets a little frustrated by all of the filler in the BOM, just like last chapter. The guys discuss whether or not a church member is ‘allowed to ask questions’. Joe reaffirms that a big part of the guys’ premise is that JS wrote the BOM, but now what? Smith talks about how some of the resentment is from devoting so much time to an organization that wasn’t completely forthright with some very important facts. Is it wrong to teach kids to pray? Maybe if the kids are praying to someone who doesn’t love them unconditionally. The guys get back around to the point that having a strict upbringing growing up, made it easier to leave the church. Smith notices some lingering perfectionism, and that the BOM preps its readers to be persecuted. 
Vmail- it’s none of your business 10-2012
The guys come back from break with text-to-speech ai, who is a little sassy. Joe recommends doing a search for common phrases in the BOM; there is a lot of filler. Smith wants an ai to analyze the language of the BOM. Joe gets caught off guard by the use of ‘terrible ones’, but the guys learn that it’s not from JS. The guys point out the irony of the description of other churches in this chapter. Smith stumbles into a good one-word Jahndallyn impression, and Joe reminds him of his JK Simmons one-word impression. The guys get sidetracked talking about a pretty old Mr Richards incident and his cup o’ coffee with regular-sized Jerry. There is some more irony about priestcrafts. Joe offers an explanation of some of the random vmails that have been showing up. Smith is reminded of a terrifying picture of Rusty in the June 2022 Liahona. 
Vmail- Noodle McGroodle 07-2011
Smith tries to make sense of some JS/BOM logic, but it’s not really worth the time. The guys confess that they are not well-versed in the Friends-o-verse. They express their disdain for alternative guitar tunings- probably derived from a religious fundamentalist worldview growing up. Smith comes up with an apt nickname for Joe as the breathin heathen. Joe tries to remember if there is thumb-thing else they forgot to talk about. 
 
Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal with permission from the artist.
The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org 
Remember who you are and what you stand for