The Joe and Smith Podcast: Read the Book of Mormon with us

Mosiah 20, Level 3 Lamanites!

Smith informs Joe about the church purchasing the Kirtland Temple from the Community of Christ. Joe refers back to this South Park episode and summarizes the beginnings of the BOM for anyone who doesn’t know. Smith mentions this part from the Tim and Eric movie. Joe points out this series of Behind the Bastards podcast episodes. The guys have both heard Teller’s voice. Here’s a link to an unvetted podcast ep with Teller as a guest. The guys discuss Neil Hamburger’s voice and his performance as Toby Determined on Gravity Falls. Smith provides his idea of some of the original text before it was edited. 
Joe complains about how expensive everything is in Aspen, Colorado. Smith tells about his weiner dog protecting him against a Siberian Tiger on TV. Joe complains about the one and only segment he watched on the History Channel show, Strange Evidence. His description reminds Smith of a classic segment on T&E. 
 
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Mosiah 19, Chekhov's Death by Fire

The guys talk about how they’re feeling about the church after being out for a while. Some of Joe’s kids don’t really remember even going. Joe plays a reverse-jeopardy style game to try to relay information to Smith about the director Henry Selick. Smith announces a new BOM-related Lego line. The guys look down on the f***ing idiots who said ‘page number’ instead of ‘hymn number. Joe brings T2: JD news from the corrections department. 
The guys are anti most forms of traffic and trafficking. Smith refers back to this song from The Offspring. He tries to use the commitment pattern to get Joe to watch The Oath with him. Smith brings up this news story about Native tribes returning donations to the church. Joe gets excited that the Hess’s were Oscar nominated for their animated short film- Ninety-five Senses. 
 
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Mosiah 18, Alma whispering to you at a stoplight

Joe refers to this piece of church art, and then this YT video from a news blooper compilation that he enjoyed. He then refers to this David Bazan song. 
 
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Mosiah 17 Hide your Almas

Smith reminds the listener about a bundle of sticks. Joe has a scary story from E Colfax Ave. Smith spoils the end of The Prestige (2006), and gets a C-Nol quiz from Joe. There is more back-and-forth between Abinadi and King Noah. The guys keep referring to this unattributed picture. 
The guys remember an old Pablo Francisco bit. Smith confesses to going to PF on V-day with Jared from Static Cycle. Joe recommends the 2014 documentary, Lost Soul: The Doomed Journey of Richard Stanley's Island of Dr. Moreau. Smith describes The Sopranos in case anyone didn’t know what it was. The guys refer to this TGTTM end credit sequence. 
 
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Mosiah 16

The guys are back after another unplanned hiatus. Smith reminds Joe of some of his favorite mormonads, Joe isn’t convinced they’re real. Joe shares his thoughts on the authorship of the Bible after having listened to a lot of the Bible Brothers podcast. He plays a couple of BOM-related clips from it. Joe inaccurately refers to this unattributed picture of Tiger King Noah. Joe kills some fun by bringing up info that he heard from this 5-hour Jahndallyn episode. Smith wishes he had this meme about a former US pres on hand. 
The guys don’t know much about Marshall Mathers. Smith thinks Tony Soprano may expedite the succession process in church leadership. Smith mentions Ari Shaffir’s 2022 special: Jew. Joe proposes the idea that the BOM may be more boring than the NT, but definitely less boring than the OT. Joe remembers this video from Onion News Network. 
 
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Mosiah 14 & 15

Joe talks about the P’s of the C attraction at Disneyparks. Smith discovers that Chapter 14 is an Isaiah chapter so the guys skip it. Joe talks about one of his favorite new podcasts, Bible Brothers, where two actual comedy writers read the KJV. Smith talks about a D ass B quote that he saw online in a job posting for the church. Smith talks about an exmo reddit post that contrasted the shirt colors of brethren in the priesthood session from the 1970s vs today. Joe goes on a minor rant about keeping things “the old way” for the sake of trying to teach the same lessons to the new generation. Smith tells his favorite pirate joke. Abinadi doesn’t do a very good job at clarifying the GH. Joe refers to some Dan Vogel Eps from the Jahndallyn Show, and reminds the listener how much DV reminds him [Joe] of Andy Daly’s Hot Dog character. Joe pulls a very relevant Bennifer reference. The guys get put on hold trying to get answers from the prophet. JS loves this part of Isaiah regarding mountains and feet. 
Joe brings up David Bazan. Chapter 15 clears up a lot of doctrine that probably mattered in 1820-1830. Smith blazes through the end of the chapter. Smith tries to clarify the need for atonement. Joe brings up this Johnny Cash song. The guys acknowledge some of the current controversies surrounding the church. Joe mentions his time as a participant in the Lifestar program, which made him ashamed of his body and alienated him from his (at the time) tbm wife.
 
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Mosiah 13 (Solo Joe-lo!)

This ep would be all-the-way skipable if it weren’t for the action we get from King Noah and the crew. Smith wasn’t feeling well, and it had been too long since an episode was released, so Joe broke protocol and recorded a solo episode. It serves the dual purposes of moving along in the reading, as well as demonstrating the necessity of our dear Smith. 
Joe questions his own sanity in talking to himself. Abinadi flexes on King Noah’s priests, and then he provides some bible fan fiction of the 10 Commandments. Joe thinks about making an idol of his axolotls. Joe goes on for too long about the idea of a Shabbat goy. The bible reminds us that a wife (and a servant) is a possession. Joe noticed that everyone who is made angry by the statement “Mormons are Christians” are people he doesn’t want to hang out with. He quotes Air Supply.  
 
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Mosiah 12

Joe bears testimony of necessary divorce, and the guys realize that they wouldn’t be good marital partners to each other. Smith gets emotional over Joe’s fast food. Smith changes his opinion from last week about OK Go videos and admits to having watched videos for: This Too Shall Pass, Needing/Getting, White Knuckles, but not The One Moment. The corrections department lets us know about Charlotte Gainsbourg whose name was missed last week. Smith reminds the listener of some recent controversy regarding a temple in Cody, WY. Smith comes up with a great safe word for BOM bondage. They guys reflect on which HP characters received howlers. The guys take a couple of detours getting distracted by Smith’s wienerdog and Joe’s axolotls. Smith reminds Joe and the listener about Rusty’s 2003 Ensign article about how god’s love is not unconditional. Joe talks about the good influences of the church over the years and expresses frustration. 
Joe gets annoyed that he still gets defensive when people tell him that Mormons are not Christians. Smith reminds Joe about a picture of a religious billboard that Joe sent to him this week. The guys talk about the fanfiction from the 10 commandments that finish off this chapter. Joe talks about a convo he had with someone who lived in ID who had a positive experience living among the mormons. Joe talks about watching Gentlemen Broncos (2009) with their #1 Patreon subscriber and remembers that toward the end, the film includes an antiquated anti-trans term. 
 
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Mosiah 11

For a minute Smith convinces Joe that a church-produced JS video was directed by Lars von Trier. Joe gets excited about this OK Go video. Joe refers back to one of Brucer’s theories about rainbows. The guys touch on the phenomenon of white mormon boyz wearing lavalavas to church. Smith tells us about that shithead King Noah, and his unnamed father. Joe makes an irreverent reference to Astronaut Jones from SNL in the 90’s. Smith describes an early cryptocurrency ZiffCoin. Smith provides an anecdote from the other side of Brother Brigham’s conference center prophecy. Joe’s Hightower joke does not land. Smith tries to tell Joe and the listener about some recent controversy regarding a temple in Cody, WY.
Joe comes back with another google translation hymns game. Smith is vague about his definition of cockubine. The guys can’t help themselves re all the bondage talk in this chapter. This chapter overtly teaches that god is “slow” to answer prayers of people he doesn’t like as much, not a great example of unconditional love. For some reason, Smith can’t stop envisioning King Noah and Abinadi in a way that can only be described as Fribergian. Joe pitches the next Indiana Jones movie- the golden plates. Joe thinks that the church is too big to fail. The guys pontificate about what kind of social problems could be solved with $150B. 
 
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Mosiah 10

Joe got excited to show Smith clips from the Richard Dawson-era Family Feud. Check this post on our patreon site for a taste. Joe plays a family feud-style game from some of his screenshots. Smith is curious about the name of King Laman and whether it’s a name that shall not be named. Joe revisits the idea of trying to keep a sportsmanlike attitude when it comes to the idea of whether or not JS wrote or translated the BOM. Smith recalls hearing this episode of the oooold Mormon Matters podcast. Here is a link to a follow-up Jahndallyn episode where Natasha discusses her excommunication. Look at him. Smith gets excited about the prospect of a high budget, church-funded, Hollywood, BOM movie. 
The lord is not pleased with Laman’s m-bation. Smith provides an inspiring reenactment of Zeniff/President Whitmore from Independence Day’s inspiring speech. Smith referred to this exmo read it post where heroes have taken a D Ass Bednar post and made their own narration. 
 
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The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org 
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